20 things I learnt in my 20’s
I am turning 30 tomorrow. I feel 65 and 13 at the same time. I am not sure that makes sense to anyone but me, and honestly that is fine.
Predictably cliché, but I will say it: I cannot believe I will no longer be in my twenties. Am I excited for the new decade? Beyond excited. I already know it is going to be better in ways I cannot even fully imagine yet. And still, as I begin this completely unsolicited list of advice, I cannot help but feel nostalgic and a little sad to close this chapter. It was a whirlwind and it was mine, and I am so proud and grateful for every transformative, chaotic, beautiful moment of it.
If there is one thing you take away from this list, let it be TIME. It speeds up. And hangovers get worse. Ok, that is two things.
Age is just a number and I am no expert at life, so take this list however you like. It feels cathartic to write it down, so humor me and my many amel-isms. 🧜♀️
The older you get, the faster time goes by. Trust me on this one. Remember those high school summers that stretched on for what felt like years? These days, if a month feels like two full weeks, you are blessed.
You think you know everything, but you still don't. I thought I knew everything at 16, then again at 21, then at 25. Turns out, I still don't. There is no finish line to adulthood, no moment where everything clicks into place. We are constantly evolving, changing, and learning. We are all a work in progress.
Who gives a f*ck what people think. You cannot make everyone happy, and not everyone has to like you. That is perfectly fine. Your self-worth and your beliefs should always come first. Do you, honey.
Invest in experiences, not things. I have my share of nice things and have been lucky enough to have some incredible experiences too. Put side by side, there is no competition. Experiences win every time.
Fall seven times, get up eight. Just don't give up. Cry it out, feel it fully, then get back up.
Apologize less. Women are conditioned to apologize constantly, and being South Asian adds a whole additional layer to that. It becomes a reflex, saying sorry even when nothing is wrong. An apology should be a meaningful statement, reserved for when you are truly in the wrong.
Take care of yourself. Take your makeup off before bed, build a morning and night routine, move your body, watch what you put into it. In moderation, of course, because McDonald's is life. Just know that the third slice of pizza and the morning hangover will hit differently as the years go on.
You know what is right for you, if you listen. There have been countless moments in the last decade when a quiet voice told me whether something was good for me or not. I listened maybe 50% of the time. It was right 100% of the time. Listen to that voice. It is there for a reason.
Time is your most valuable resource. It is fleeting and it is not infinite. This might be the only true certainty we have. Respect your time, and respect other people's time.
Do the werk. There is no shortcut, at least not for us mere mortals. A career, a healthy body, a good relationship: all of it requires work. You can fool others but you cannot fool yourself. And trust me, the weekends feel so much sweeter when you have earned them. (s/o Britney.)
The only way to grow is to do the things that scare you. My mom used to tell me this all the time: if you are scared of something, look it straight in the face. She was right. Parents always are, and honestly that deserves its own point entirely.
Small, consistent steps go a long way. Success does not happen overnight. Know your short and long term goals and make small progress every single day. Consistency compounds. One day you will wake up and realize you actually did most of the things your younger self dreamed about. It is a good feeling.
Diversify and invest. Work toward multiple streams of income so you are never reliant on just one. Start small and build from there. Make your money work for you, take risks in your twenties, and always play the long game.
You will grow apart from people, and that is okay. Some people are meant to stay and some are not. Do not force it. The relationships that are meant to last will last.
You can do anything, but only once you decide you truly want to. No matter how big the goal, commitment to yourself is where it begins. As my mom would say: a journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.
You are literally Beyoncé. Your body is beautiful, your face is flawless, and your mind is a force. Trust that.
There is no one path. One of the biggest myths I have busted is that adults actually know what they are doing. Everyone is figuring it out, at every age. There is no right way or right time. It is a free for all, and the sooner you embrace that, the better.
Your biggest competition is yourself. Comparing yourself to others is a waste of energy. Focus on who you were a day ago, a week ago, a year ago. You are your own harshest critic, your toughest competition, and your greatest supporter.
Mental health is everything. It was never a focus growing up, and in my culture it is still not spoken about enough. But it is as important as any other part of your life, arguably the most important. Find your outlets, tend to it, give it the time and attention it deserves.
The grass is greener where you water it. Not on the other side. Right where you are.
FreebiesDon’t take the red-eye. Not worth it (Not to be mistaken for the 6 am, that’s worth it)
There is no such thing as being bored
NOBODY is thinking about that one thing you did years ago
Coconut oil can be used for basically anything
Expensive wine doesn’t mean it’s better (Unless you’re in Europe)
Silence is underrated.
Everything passes with time.
If you don’t ask, the answer will always be No.
Adults don’t know what they’re doing (See #17).
Your energy is felt before you speak.
